I found the remedy to my pessimistic nature~

Guess what?? Sleeping helps.. I realised that whenever I sleep, I don't think.. Then I become more positive, for eg. NOW!! Haha.. I guess because when I am sleeping, I dream.. And most of the time, Thank God, I dream about things, people and events I always wanted to see, hear and touch.. Maybe that's the reason I smile everytime I wake up.. I really do.. (OK, maybe when I refused to wake up from my dreams, then i dun..Haha)

I think what's wrong is my mind.. Always like to wonder and think.. And when I don't see it, I became very negative.. What I hate is that it affects the people around me.. Tt's why I become the "most" negative at the end of the day.. It is like so saturated that whatever positive just don't come into the picture..

Therefore, if I ever start this "hormonal" cycle, please stop me early..

I guess so..

Does blogging has an effect on improving mood?

It's a normal Sunday.. Went for tri-athletic aerobics class.. Had KFC with my friends.. Ate cereals, cheese and apple for dinner.. Doing mkting tutes and preparing for P&G case study.. Doing lab reports.. Got stuck in the reports.. Don't know what to do, how to do.. Can't help feeling sorry for myself.. I just want to go home.. Like NOW??

Sad.. Tears.. Feeling all stupid, incompetent, useless, unproductive.. What really matters?? I don't know..

What the hell am I thinking about??

Maybe I need more aerobics classes, tons of Max brenner's treats..

Yummy Brekkie at Gluttony (Smith st)!! Highly recommended~

Gosh! After a night of clubbing & dancing.. All's needed is a good breakfast! And I had it~ Where?? Gluttony at Smith st. (even the signboard says that it is a sin to eat there!) Haha..

I went for brekkie early in the morning at 10 plus with my hsemates Cheryl & Vania, together with Felix, Maybelline & Wan Ni.. It was so so good! We had Flapback Pancakes, Gluttony's special, Warm Breakfast & Corn Toast + Jam.. (I wonder if i got the names rite??) The main pt is it is so so yummy & worth the money.. Thick & pecan-filled pancakes with maple syrup.. Salmon salad with butter toast.. Nicely poached eggs & cheese toast.. Corn toast with home-made jam & peanut butter.. Drooling?? Really made my day after tt "not so fun & sickening" night.. Haha.. I think I am a person, all about good food & desserts.. Coz the cakes there look so irresistible.. Haha.. Gosh~ How am I gonna lose those wt, I should go to hong's place to weigh myself soon.. Haha.. Coz I am in love with aerobics too.. Tt's shan..

I told raine & hong abt it.. And I bet they are hoping that I will bring them there real soon!! Haha.. Tt's all for now.. gotta motivate myself to start on my assignments.. And I juz woke up from my nap.. Heez! Cheerios!

Biochem down! What's next??

Yup yup!! After one week of chionging biochem, I am finally done with MST.. Happy like anything.. Haha.. Since 7 apr, me and my gd frenz are so crazy abt group fitness.. And for this wk, I went for body steps, body jam, pilates and fitball.. Haha.. It is so so cool and fun to learn.. Have been enjoying myself and hoping to tone up a little.. Heez..

And coz ytd was fri nite and it is Ladies' Nite at Loft!! Haha.. BUT BUT.. It is so so boring there.. The music sux, the crowd sux too!! However, clubbing with the girls is really enjoyable coz it is the NITE for us to relax after Biochem.. Haha.. I think I won't go clubbing anymore.. Juz not me.. At all.. Esp in Melb.. =P

This is my 100th blog.. But it is gonna be a sad one~

What a stressful life we got.. And I got it too.. Sch days, stress abt studies.. Work life, stress abt work, ppl & pay.. Own life? stress abt money, family, relationships & alot more.. Sianz.

I am having a great deal of stress from every aspect mentioned above.. Especially money last night.. ever since a super "enjoyable" talk w my parents.. Is there nth else we can talk abt, except money.. Hate it! Money is evil, which we can do without.. So we are evil.. haha.. My logic (a bit of crappiness).. Now I lost interest to do whatever I wanted to do.. Coz it is all about money.. No money no talk.. This is so sian.. The feeling of seeing no income, is so damn, what the heck sian..

Exhausted, Restless & Motivation-less!

Gosh! Thank God! I finally finish my 2 major exams ytd!!! So happy.. But not so, when I saw 3 reports waiting to be done.. Sianz.. I have been feeling so tired after this easter break.. The worst I ever had.. Last easter was so so nice, no tests, no exams and still got my dear with me.. Xin fu~ But this easter was no break at all! No shopping spree, no outing, exams preparation full-on! I am so not relaxed at all.. Everyday go law lib, study with Xiao Hong (I m so dead if he sees this! Haha~).. The only entertainment I got was watching Grey's anatomy and an occasional visit to the sports centre for aerobics lessons.. How boring I can be.. Where is the Happy & Bubbly Shanshan, my frenz once knew.. I guess not anymore.. What's left now is a Dull, Boring, Quiet, Tired and always Stressed-up Shanshan.. So sianz.. I see myself oso sian..

Really miss my friends alot alot.. They are the ones who made my sch days so meaningful.. WSS.. TP.. All's the same.. Well, now in Melb uni is ok only.. Besides times with Raine, Novi, Tara, Clar and Xiao Hong are always so crazy.. haha.. I find myself smiling lesser and lesser each day.. Not as crappy, not as fun-going.. Juz wan to get over with Melb, and be home sweet home..

Guess what I did today.. Whole day packed with lectures.. Sianz.. Lucky the tri-athletic aerobics lesson with Novi was a great one and it really made my day..

And now, I am going back to finish up my reports due on fri and I have to start Biochem A revision.. Gosh!! What a life I got in Melb..

Energise!!

Today is a "rock on" day at Uni Melb's sports centre! Haha.. Coz me and Raine signed up for the monthly package to attend group fitness such as BodyStep, HipHop, Pilates, Yoga & my all-time fav HI-LO aerobics.. Hehe.. We went for the Step class with Novi & Clar.. Oh my, my second time at it.. Terrible and tiring.. I think I still love Hi-Lo.. Haha.. How I miss those aerobics sessions with Princess Suann & Princess Fang.. Hehe.. And guess what.. Straight after tt, I gave my 1st time.. to Yoga!! xP haha.. Oh my goodness.. What a yoga lesson I had.. Nearly fainted with all the stretching, bending.. Haha.. But it did help soothen my mind.. Coz after tt, I went to Novi's place to study in the seminar room.. Good place for peaceful and serious study.. But not in e presence of Raine, coz she was so noisy! Oops, she gonna kill me.. Haha.. I felt real good after today's physical activity, did manage to study seriously and didn't really day-dream.. Felt my stress relieved for the moment.. Hehe..

Now I am missing home again.. Hehe.. Soon I will be back.. For good.. Better go back to my books already.. This is the third blog of the day.. heez..

May all those crappy moods go away!

Ytd was so boring.. All I did was study, assignments & church.. Besides chatting with my friends and my dear, nth seems to excite me anymore.. Ok well, and watching TV.. Haha..

And today is hongster's birthday.. Happy 22nd Bdae! Haha.. u r old liaoz! Sh*t me too, soon~ haha.. Ytd, I gave him a cake, a small slice, haha.. from crown bakery.. It was a surprise for him becoz I told him tt I wanted to pass him hot cross buns.. Haha.. And he fell for it.. I was so proud tt my trick worked out.. I am smart, rite? haha...

I miss my dear.. I can't help missing u..

I miss my gals, klashcs.. I can't help missing them..

I miss my princesses.. I can't help missing them..

I miss my family.. I can't help missing them..

I just miss my life in S'pore..

Responsibility & Consideration

Some people just don't have them! I was watching my Grey's Anatomy.. It was talking about being an adult and the responsibilities attached to it.. How true.. It is really nice when someone is taking all the responsibilities.. and even better, if it is not me.. But reality is so untrue! Esp. after 21.. Gotta take care of myself.. Cook my meals.. Handle my rent & bills.. Manage my money.. Clean my hse.. Totally sick of them.. It's all because they are my responsibilities.. In time to come, I gotta pay my loans.. Pay my insurance..(oops that I am already paying now) Pay my parents.. And what else? Lots more I think.. Part of life, I guess.. Let's hope that I will grow to love it.. I was a little shocked that cheryl actually love it coz to me, I always tot she is a "tai-tai".. But she told me tt she doesn't mind responsibilities.. And her bf is a big big one! Haha..

Some people are not responsible at all.. Why do I have to handle all their responsibilities.. Sometimes I tot tt might be service to God's ppl.. But getting them all unappreciated really sucks.. And worse, taken for granted.. Why am I getting all worked up?? Unreasonable?? Try it when u got some shared responsibilities and u got to handle them all alone..

Consideration? Some just don't have any! How can she be so inconsiderate? It has been like tt since day 1? I don't understand.. I wanted to use the phone so badly ytd and she made me wait until 1 plus in the morning?? It's not like I didn't tell her that I am waiting.. Hey, u r not the only one in the house and this is not ur home-sweet-home where ur family & ur bf can take ur nonsense. I am so not going to argue with her becoz I don't want to waste my efforts too.. This is not the 1st time and this is like the nth time already.. Really sick of it.. Don't come and find me if ur internet is down or ur phone is not working.. None of my business anymore!

No one really understands me.. Including myself!

Recently my blogs look weird.. They all seem to be stuff tt happened ytd or long ago.. I tot blogs should be a write-up of daily events?? Haha I duno..

Anyway, I went ahead to run with clar & novi.. But I think I am the only one who actually ran ytd.. I think they prefer gym?? But Princes Park is surely big! I think it feels like a round in Bedok Reservoir.. Haha.. But I wan to go run again next week before winter comes.. Feel sporty these days.. And I am going for my 1st step class on Mon with them.. LORAINE LIM!! Don't be lazy, come along!! Haha.. Let's relax a bit.. Forget abt food chem for the moment.. =P But I can't forget Stirk & Dr. Said for the moment~ Their papers weigh so much..

Sometimes I wonder it is ppl's expectations or it is just me.. People always like me to do things they like to see.. If I don't, they think I am being rebellious or I should choose the "right" way.. But sorry, I won't change for anyone and never gonna be that case!! If can't accept, then too bad.. Reflect on your own life before you come and criticise mine.. Even if I do change, no one ever bothers.. Because it is a "should change" thing..

Sometimes I feel stupid, trying too hard.. All I want is a simple life and do things that I am happy about.. Reality is so so harsh.. Nowhere I seem to fit in.. Active & fun-loving?? Not me, coz I get tired easily.. Happy & contented? Never in my life, happy maybe but not contented.. Smart & studious? studious maybe, but not a tiny bitzy smartness in me.. YA! I know where I am gonna be, my own lala-land... NO ENTRY to Anyone but ME!

I don't want to be self-centred~ If only, ppl accept me for who I am.. I already adapt to ppl but no one appreciated..




Ytd, thanks to Wei Hong for coming over to my place so late.. Poor thing, gotta go grampians next day, still come & help my hsemates settle the internet.. Hehe.. Too bad, who ask u to stay so near my hse.. Ok la, don't say I m not friend enough, I let u go my lab to print notes kkz.. Haha..

Next wk, we r going Cafe Notturno for good cakes at Lygon st.. haha.. So excited.. But 1st, I muz study in library for a few solid hours.. Scared of the two papers.. Haha.. High expectations again..

Later at noon, I am gonna meet Est & Alex.. Both gals are from my sec sch.. Too bad, ah siew is not free to join us coz of her honours proj.. Poor gal.. To ah siew: We'll meet up again with u ok?????

tt's all for now.. Enough grumpy stuff..

Easter Break~~

Happy Easter! And it is my Mid-Sem break!! But I am not happy at all because I got 2 assignments and 3 reports due when sch reopens.. Haha.. Therefore I went for retail and food therapy ytd..

Ytd, my day started at 9am.. Went to Victoria Mkt and bought lots of groceries.. Becoz shops will be closed during easter friday & easter sun.. Haha.. And I suddenly got the urge to cook after so long.. I have been trying to diet.. Haha.. Still didn't really make it though.. Haha.. After tt, I rushed to sch to meet Tara and her friend.. Becoz we are going Smith st to buy sports stuff.. I told myself that I should start my exercise regime coz all diet w/o exercise is a bound-failure.. Haha.. But before we even start shopping, we went to this choco cafe - San churro at Brunswick st, for really really heavenly choc!! So much indulgence! Haha.. We stayed for quite some time becoz we had to wait for the rain to stop and gavin to come.. He was super late but we still managed to save two chocolates from the tapas for him.. Heez =P

After tt, we headed for our 1st stop at Nike factory outlet.. Gosh the stuff there was so good and we stayed abt 1hr plus there =P Finally I bought my running shoes.. Hehe.. Den we kept going to different shops and try different clothes.. Hehe.. Den I saw this amazing shop which sold Keds tt cherry shoes for 20 bucks!! I was so so happy and glad tt I didn't buy it when I went shopping with Wei Hong the other day.. Haha.. So Happy!!

Next stop, city! Myers sale!!! But by then, I was already dead tired and in the evening, I got to meet vania, jingxi & her hsemates for dinner at Hard Rock cafe.. So I didn't really shop there, just look through the cosmetics & perfumes.. Hehe.. BUT i think I will go back again on sun =P I am so so so BROKE and I still dare to think of spending $$.. Haha.. Retail therapy I guess.. Oh ya, now the Hard Rock Cafe dinner!! It was so so good.. For a girl like me who don't always eat ribs.. It is really nice and yummy!! But coz I was not prepared for ribs so I took a combo - chicken and ribs.. Which was equally good!! Haha.. I am so guilty with all the food and shopping!! How how how?? To compensate my emotional imbalance?? Haha..

This morning I was crazy too la.. I woke up like 7 plus and started preparing soup and french toast.. Haha.. Juz got a real urge to cook sth nice.. To me, it is edible, maybe not for u ppl.. Haha.. Hopefully my hsemates like them.. Haha.. Later at 4pm, I will go running with Clar and Novi.. Hehe.. Good start? I got to run from my place (elizabeth st) to college sq lygon st, den meet them there.. Haha.. Dead tired by the time I reach?? Coz it is abt 20 mins run there.. haha. Den we head to Princes Park.. Pray for my determination to lose wt.. Haha..

I gotta go back to my books!! Technology of Food Processing (40%)!!! Must study.. If not, Stirk will kill me! Haha..

p.s: Raine, see I am back blogging! Happy??