Been some time since i last blogged.. Always so busy since sch starts.. Sometimes I duno wat I m busy on, when e rest of my frenz seem to be idling away.. haha.. maybe not exactly idle but they sure hav more time than mi.. I always say tt I hate ppl to say they hav no time but when it comes to mi, tis excuse seemed perfect.. Of coz i try not to use it often.. Becoz no time is NOT an excuse!!!! Time is managed by yourself.. It depends on who, what, where & how u wan to give it to..

Juz had a sad xmas eve tis yr.. Didnt get wat I always wanted.. Well come to tink abt it, I find myself quite stupid to hav kept myself busy at home tt day.. I shld hav gone somewhere to celebrate xmas.. But I didnt, I locked myself at home n kept myself really really busy.. Even my frenz called n called n yet I didnt hear.. Funny eh? Busy wif wat? Moppin floor, packin my room, ironing clothes, watching tv and doing my cross-stitch(I want to complete by 31 dec!!!).. Nearly clean up my whole hse.. I cant even sleep well tt day.. Actually I was not in such bad mood in the morning.. But as time goes, it got worse.. I juz couldnt tok myself to accept it.. It is so clear tt I had been "running" away.. Really draining mi.. Xmas day was much better.. I brought myself to meet poly frenz.. Tried to put on smiles in front of them.. Had gifts exchanges n really had a better mood after tt..

Now a bit lost in my mind.. Trying hard to get it back again.. Maybe it will take days.. or weeks.. even years.. I wondered how long I had been like tt.. 2 yrs or even more.. I can only put my trust in the Lord and hope He will lead me the way out.. Only God knows the way..

10 December 2004
This is e busiest day of e 1st week of sch.. How shld i start describing my hectic schedule.. Too busy until I m almost multi-taskin every minute.. During the morning lecture, I was really tryin hard to concentrate but my mind was juz flying everywhere.. Only until I missed copyin one slide, den I start to really pay attn.. After tt, mi n my mp grp went to check the quality of the bak kwa.. It was horrible, makin us so panicky.. BEcoz once the quality is poor, our proj is goin down the drain.. Once again, we were scolded by alice ong abt the micro results.. N worse still, we faced the prob of incubating the agar plates on the wrong day.. sad.. After tt, I went to saa to help print certs.. Be4 I reached there, i fell down the stairs while thinkin too much and crushed e can in my hands.. Wasted my mocha coffee.. haha.. After tt I was so busy until I was always panicky even when my hp rings.. I was so scared tt alice ong will giv mi bad news.. Terror did happen n we had to rush back to the lab n complete e micro counting.. Jia even rushed down from home.. Tis day was truly truly tiring.. N i had to giv my overnite cycling a miss.. Bits of regret.. But I had no choice, i got too much to do after I reach home.. Didnt even get to slp well tt nite..

11 December 2004
I woke in fear becoz I was havin a nightmare of FYP!! All my nite was spent thinkin abt counting plates, counting endless no. of plates.. N e scene still got e 3 of us busy counting plates.. I had no choice but to wake up super early n redo my tabulation of results.. If not I wont rest in peace.. haha.. After tt, I went out to meet estella, mun, alicia, jer & sarah.. It has been a long time since i met them except for mun.. haha.. Really missed them alot.. Esp estella, she has been away from spore for long.. It was great to hav her back.. N glad tt she oso found her happiness while in aust.. "heyhey where is my happiness?" She shot tt qn at mi.. All I could say is I duno.. Still waiting I guess n maybe a heart tt hasnt been healed or waiting to be healed.. Anyway, all of us had fun i guess.. Esp at sakae, busy chattin n takin photos.. But the service at sakae was super slow.. haha..

NOW 12 December 2004
Left w 12 days before xmas eve!!! Which means 12 days be4 my driving test~ scary.. ermz.. Either e happiest or e saddest xmas of my life?? how to take tis.. Can I leave tis to Him? I hope God will give mi strength to move on regardless of the results.. Becoz I tink i gotta spend tis xmas alone.. Family is not by my side tis yr, my parents are away from spore.. Frenz got their dears to acc.. Brother is either busy workin or busy w his gf i guess.. Maybe i shall roam ard e streets like i always do?? or sleep thru xmas? Haiz.. Juz give mi a break~

Time really flies.. It is already friday juz a few minutes ago.. 1st week of school is almost over juz like tt.. Didnt had much fun in school becoz all the time I will be in the lab.. Ytd was juz too happening.. We almost burnt down the whole lab.. haha.. It was a careless mistake.. We placed the alcohol too near the bunsen burner n it juz caught fire w/o our notice.. Thank God, E guy in e lab came to our rescue.. But after tt, all e ppl in level 7 labs noe tt we almost burnt the lab.. So pai say..

Tis morning, one of my frenz cried in front of mi becoz she is v stressed abt MP, home n relationship.. I realised tt as a good fren, I didnt do a good job of understanding her well.. Sometimes I wondered if I had been overly paranoid abt my own problems tt I neglected those beside mi.. At e pt when she was crying, I couldnt be of much help, except to keep her company n give her a pat.. Enough of it.. Hope tt she will tink it thru' n get over it soon..

Good news of e day!! I finally got my pay.. After a long wait.. But I tink most of it will go to xmas presents n cards.. haha.. However, I was too impetuous.. I went ahead with compulsive shopping.. haha.. I bought some tops today without 2nd thoughts.. Well not my style.. Bought some "ME to YOU" xmas cards.. hehe.. They r so so cute.. Cant bear to send them away.. After all e shopping, of coz gotta treat myself some big feast.. I went to hav ra-men w feli at china sq.. It was deliciously spicy n needed plenty of iced water.. Even tried the strawberry kisses yoghurt ice.. So interesting eh??!! haha..

Now I only felt like sleeping.. I m even thinkin of finishing the logbook daily report tml.. But I dun tink I can do tt.. I scared alice ong haunt mi in my dreams or i should say nightmares.. haha..

4 December 2004
Early in the morning 10am, I was at pasir ris waiting to go Wild wild wet wif e ELF ppl... Hehe.. Sounds exciting?? Well.. A bit of disappointment though.. It was cloudy all day plus lots of big winds.. BUT it was pretty fun esp the slide-up.. We were fooling ard at the shiok pool and had a great massage at jacuzzi.. Almost drown at the tsunami pool becoz the waves were above my height.. Gotta admit i m short.. haha.. After e fun, we went to Suntec n hav KennY Roger's.. It seems delicious becoz all of us were v hungry after all day of fun.. Wanted to slp while eating too.. haha.. Still walk thru' esplanade and visit the merlion.. Well.. Alot of memories there..

5 December 2004
Had a nice church service today.. I really hope that with God, I could do all things.. So I tink I gotta persevere and pray harder.. Those words spoken really touched mi I guess.. I felt His presence and hope that He will continue to give mi strength for all the obstacles I will or going to face..

Going to start sch tml.. Well.. Time really flies.. I m already in my final sem.. Soon after, I will graduate sia.. I guess I will miss the life and ppl at TP esp ELF.. Amazingly all of us from diff sch got a chance to meet and able to be such good frenz.. Although EL programmes are not really interesting(I always had to drag my feet there..hehe), it is the people we meet there tt makes the experience so special.. Sometimes I really hope time will stop so that I can catch hold of wat I could hav missed out.. haha..

28 November 2004
Tis was a special day for me.. I accepted Christ on tis day.. I didnt noe y I did it but certainly I strongly felt His presence during the church service.. Actually tis feeling came about when I was at one of the GB NCO's training camp.. But it didnt dawn on mi tt it was time to accept Him as my saviour.. All tis while, I had been sitting on the fence.. Too many worries whether I should be a christian anot.. But now, thank God.. I can leave all my worries with Him and serve his ministries.. I m so happy!

29 November 2004
A day at Bak Kwa company.. Sound like an essay?? haha.. A bit la.. But the interesting part was we got to see how Bak Kwa was produced.. Oh gosh.. It was plenty of hard work and smoky too.. All of us smelt of Bak Kwa after the visit.. hehe.. It was so horrible until the taxi driver cant stand us.. Thank God for such a nice experience and not getting scolded by alice ong.. haha..

30 November 2004
Morning was really bad.. Alice ong suddenly call mi and scolded mi for being late.. I could say it wasnt my fault becoz I tot there was another group meeting her be4 us.. Well obviously she tot we r the ones being late so she rant and rant.. Luckily it was fine after a while.. But tis day was super long becoz we had to do the moisture test.. No pt mentioning the steps becoz it is really sianz doing it.. 2 of us alone in OBC lab.. So poor thing.. At least fang got some company in food lab.. After my fyp, I went to meet Elf ppl.. I suggested to eat ice-cream but end up eating air.. haha.. no la.. they ate ice-cream except mi.. Becoz I was too full after dinner and lots of laughter too..

1 December 2004
Early in the morning 8.30am, I went for my driving lesson.. V happy today becoz I realised my driving improved.. It wasnt as bad as those times.. Hehe.. Den I went to school to do some research.. Well at least for one day I need not see tt alice in the wonderland.. haha.. Den I went home to cook dinner.. haha.. M i such a guai gal? I bet u dun noe.. Anyway it has been a super long time since I m home eating dinner.. So I tink it is time to relive those times when I had to rush home to cook for my family.. hehe..